Am I Christian? An Answer From FB
Okay, sorry about that. Writers hook, it's something we do. Did I hurt you?
I'm going to try to actually answer my own question this time.
With the story of the day I accepted God into my life.
This is just from Facebook. It didn't enter as a response to the guy who told me I sounded Christian... because Social Media is geared toward ADHD (which is *funny,* because I actually *have ADHD*.... so maybe I shouldn't say that.... some SJW I used to steal memes from would tell me I shouldn't blame neurotypical problems on neurodiversity just because we're victims of blame... I love that word, vicitms. We're all victims, and we're all aggressors. If we live long enough. But don't ge tme started.)
Anyway. (Did I mention I have ADHD?)
Too long to put on FB... and I drifted off, distracted.... I'm no longer sure where the thread was.
But, if I do find it, I'm going to give him a link to this post.
Love and light.
In brief: sort of. I am "with God." I accept Jesus. I know the Light is Salvation, and the Dark is Damnation. I am a Mystic. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. If you walk with God, it doesn't make a difference to me if you call him Allah, or Yahweh, or Odin, or Zeus... God is Love, children. God/Love is a Cosmic Force without equal.
People have passed around stories that were objectively False about God-- we do not have any idea about how that happened-- well, maybe *you do*, just because I don't... there's probably a person out there who could give a very sound theory... I am not she....
... but, for millennia-- and is She just chemicals in our brain? Well I don't think so but if you're an *atheist,* like I said, I fully believe you can know God!! What is a "cosmic force?" Mysticism is full of questions... we mystics are apt to answer questions and unload more questions than we can answer just while trying to explain the answer to a very basic one... I wouldn't trust the mystic who did differently very easily... not without a good reason....
-- well, for millennia, it was a way of explaining something that was too hard to convey in straightforward explanation. And I will tell you here today, on my blog, that I do the exact same thing, and am about to do so to you right here right now before you start equating "Love" the Cosmic Force with stuff any good Feminist would tell you is just you wanting to own someone like they're a dog or a necklace.
Uhmm... I cannot tell you what God is. Not really. How can anyone explain Love in words?
I am going to tell you the difference between Traditionalist Explanations of God and what we Mystics believe in figuring out while you seek God.
Up front, you will not find God by reading about Him. Or Her. He is not a thing of Logic. But... reading whereabout the Interstate is, and how to get down it, will help you get to New York one day... and if you're leaving my hometown, knowing the Interstate is called Palmetto and knowing how to find Palmetto is a very good place to start.
(If you needed it directly spelled out, there is nothing wrong with calling God something that is familiar to you and not reading the same words as the guy who comes from a different background. If you are a Juan and proud to be a Juan, or you are a proud Jack, or a proud Mohammed, or an Avani or a Lu, when starting out-- I did say I was a former SJW-- you can walk whatever road to find God you want, and there is nothing wrong with you regardless. If you want to call him by your country's/People's/culture's name, do. If you don't, don't. I'm an American Patriot who says firmly the only thing my Patriotism supports is Freedom-- that's literally it-- all it ever should have-- and you should absolutely do what you feel comfortable with. If someone doesn't like your name for God, it doesn't matter if they look like you or if they don't, it doesn't matter if they want you to be like other people who look like you or they think you shouldn't be-- you do right by God, and call out to Him in a way that works for you. Love, God, never wants anyone to cause themselves or anyone else pain and suffering without a very good reason. And S/he doesn't want you to.)
Now that that's clear...
Traditional Religion-- as a lifelong Witch (I still Practice... I would be far more a victim than I am if I were not a Witch... am I in error? I am not sure, let me be humble, feel free to open the dialogue... the Path of Spiritual Power, or the Occult, as it is more commonly called.... even most every teacher I learned from, through their writings, advised all of us their students to understand has highly dangerous-- to take it seriously as Fire itself....)
Well, as a Witch, Traditional Religion means Ritual. Herbs. Drawn Figures in Specific Colors. Certain Numbers. Celestial Symbols. Specific Times of Day.
All of that, if you study the Path I studied, is mostly stuff passed on to us from a crackpot fraud who also said he created gold but lost the evidence somehow named Aleister Crowley, whose Cult, the Golden Dawn, *found* a whole ton of written magical lore for which there is no accounting from all of recorded history.
I am not discounting Crowley's methods, as startling as that may seem.
Huh? What did that crazy bipolar SJW just say?
No. I assure you you read that right. And while it may be hard to understand, I am quite sane. Though people have mistaken us mystics for madmen for pretty much all of history. Here, forget that last bit-- and don't hate the Catholics! It's in gist innaccurate; the Greek Pagans and everyone else killed us Witches too, always have, maybe always will-- the atheists *still* sometimes give us labtomies (did I say we're all imperfect people yet? So much better than the Catholics, right?)....
Just forget everything you know about everything and walk with me a minute.
What I just told you-- earlier-- from Crowley-- he wasn't doing anything a whole bunch of other people did all throughout history. He just did the same thing when there was a *really good* written record for the very first time anyone had done anything of the kind.
Do people *make up* God? Did Crowley? Well... yes and no.
Here, let me explain. Going back to Traditionalism. This is all an explanation of how you find God, and what that means in Traditional Religion versus Mysticism, and why people like Crowley... well, from a neurotypical, mainstream viewpoint, they pretty much just make it all up. *But, on my honor, on all I have seen, that is a LIE!*
It's about fine lines. The Devil and God are in the details-- and if you don't believe me, go back to Facebook where you probably came from, and a lot of those memes are actually accurate, a lot of those news stories are actually factually true. And if you just read the Progressive Side or the Kekistani side, white people are a threat to all society, or minorities are a threat to all society.... eh, I like to think you know where that road leads. You, my fellow Seeker, want the *red pill.*
So! The Red Pill: You kind of have to see the Matrix with your own eyes. Let me reword that. Matrix equals Reality. No one can show you the Matrix. No one can show you Reality. No one can show you God, and no one can tell you what it is. You have to see it for yourself.
(I will admit, there are about a ton of SJWs on the Net who *don't* believe in religion who just got mad because I said the Real World includes a "Giant Spaghetti Monster.")
(Uhm... not to do this to you so often but.... *sort of.* Again, I have no concrete explanation of God. I have already called Him Love, and said "Cosmic Force." Uhmm.. hehe... mysticism is a study of things that cannot be explained in words... but, hopefully I can motivate you to find a better explanation than what I give here.)
Crowley! Back again to Crowley! He was teaching Traditional Religion!
*FACEPALM*
"What did that crazy bipolar SJW just say?"
No, again, this is difficult, but... you read that correctly.
Still walking with me?
Writers are fond of redefining terms, I know. Maybe I'm guilty of that. "Traditional Religion" is the wrong term by *denotation,* you're absolutely right. *But*... I'm not finished....
What Crowley did was create a new Traditional Religion.
"Rigggghhhht..... 'Tra-dit-ion-al...."
Well, no. Not if you make fun of me. But kind of. It is a sort of traditionalist reaction I am imagining some of my readers having.
Sigh....
Tradition is rote. It is obligatory. There is a way of doing things, a standard explanation. You say the same words every time, there is an Authority who explained those words and you can repeat that explanation without flinching because you know the person you're talking to just doesn't understand (insert blank.)
I. Hate. Traditionalism.
But it's useful.
Crowley started that up.
Basically, Crowley, and *all Traditionalists,* give you this version of God:
Hmm.. God has a very large face. He is tall. Taller than Mountains. He is stronger than any mortal can imagine. He floats on Air and can teleport anywhere at once.
So they even give him long.... black... my SJW self wants to avoid racial misunderstandings... hair.... black... skin.... don't miss the point, you can say blond and white in your head, it doesn't make the slightest difference.... annd... a piece of artwork later....
THIS. IS. GODDDD!! FALL DOWN ON YOUR KEES AND PRAY!!
Uhmmm... yes.
That, in a nutshell, is how Traditionals explained God much of the way through history.
They're a little more advanced now.... not really. They still literally argue that the Earth is only 6,000 years old and the CIA planted Dinosaur bones. But, more importantly, they are serious as hell about God, Love and doing right by Christ is their primary objective in Life, and they turn the other cheek and show Love like mad to people they are sure are going to Hell-- did I sound like I thought I was better than Traditionalism? Oh, no. Don't mean to. Same people have been royally good to me in life. Royally. Not as bright or educated maybe as most SJWs... but. If. There is. Civil War. I told you beforehand. It was not. Because of Them. End rant.
Love thy neighbor.
Well... you get the picture. That was what Crowley did.
Whhhhaaaaawwt did Crazy Bipolar Mystic Lady Say? Is you off your meds, woman??
(Yes, but that's beside the point.)
*Keep walking.*
Crowley didn't make an animal head and say that was the Great Pharaoh in the Sky.
Not in direct interpretation, anyway.
But if you're having trouble getting my point- bear with me- he pretty much did.
<Skeptic rolls eyes.>
<Actually, most skeptics are pretty intelligent, make love not war. I have a friend who's a skeptic who just made read this-- I've known her longer than I can remember my own life-- and I'm pretty sure she gets everything that's written here just fine and is trying to decide if it's really worth it to get in another religious quarrel about how full of crap all us religious people are because, after all, most warfare started because of religion. The *Modern Crusades*- yes, I see people on the Net regularly, and I have known them in person in the past in healthier days when I wasn't all but homebound-- and, Evidence is in your favor, a ton of people see Christ and/or Europe as finishing out the Human Side of the Warcraft II Campaign. Gosh, Folks. Generation Z is *really* going to say good things about us... AND Baby Boomers...>
Well, anyway. To be fair, my antics were probably not fair to Skeptics. Might be more like Traditionalists who are rolling their eyes and shaking their heads.
Some atheists too.
Uhmm... yes, where was I?
If you're still following me, good job. If you've gotten what I'm trying to convey, GREAT.
(You really read blogs by bipolar people who don't medicate for entertainment and candid honesty. And to save money. Those books and those courses could probably teach you... Traditionalism.)
(One of the problems with talking to us mystics is... since time Immemorial, "tradition" had it-- I did just say that-- that we went through Madness as part of our Initiation. Modern Society, a very thin slice of history, calls that mental illness. But if we never went Mad.... it's like, if I can invert the whole equation. If your own parents had never domesticated you as a human being, would you understand Math? No? I don't think so either. Do you still feel love? Hope? Are you still free of heart? Yes? I agree too. Going through Madness in Seeking God is normal. It is part of the Mystic Experience, and if you never go Mad, I don't think you will ever understand the "Hidden." You will also are presently missing out on how Mad all Society has gone in their quest for Rational, Logical Evidence.)
(This is supposed to be a Blog about not hating your neighbor, not cheating your friend. I did right not to pretend my only atheist friend who might actually read this, hallowed Internet Idol Status aside, would get my point before I finished making it-- only, I am not *sure*-- because I would be cheating atheists otherwise. And I would be cheating Christians and believers if I did not say they can all be intelligent. I just don't want to hate on my neighbors when every background, really, sometimes gets things, sometimes doesn't. Is sometimes intelligent, fair, compassionate, what-have-you, sometimes isn't.
(So anyway, I want to supplant one quick point-- did I say quick? I was forced on Psych pills originally partly just for having too much to say. If you try to say a paragraph over two minutes in a response to a question, people call you mentally ill, currently, or "manic," and, not everything's rosy in lil old traditional Florence-- in New York City, I think I might have actually gotten a chance to call witnesses or at least give my side of the story to the judge. People from the South who hate people from the Northeast are nuts. But people from the Northeast who move down here and salute themselves for civilizing us and educating us about modern tolerance are INSANE. You're literally destroying the Seasons of the Year just by moving here even as I write this. I do not reason there are anywhere near *half* the trees there were in this state before you guys moved here after I was born. I have gone down the highway by car from Myrtle Beach to Greenville, Columbia, Charleston, North Carolina-- used to be, anywhere on that list, the whole way en route, nothing but trees. Now? Heck... I hardly see any! It's like there's *at least* a town nearby, anywhere you go. You guys need to love to learn rednecks. We're all going to be starving 20 years from now just because the Factory Life moved South. But by all means, hate your transphobic, racist, homophobic, Islamaphobic, Bible-thumping yokel neighbors. Blow them off. When Generation Z is excited they had the money to buy a peach? Tell them you're the reason they couldn't just *grow a tree in their backyard.* And then remind them about all the awful people who used to be able to. ... Love, Shelley. Love. No anger. My problem in life is that I did not smell enough Flowers. Do you like Flowers? I like Flowers. I owe you a flower. Tell me if I offended you, Shelley Claire Havens on Facebook, and let me send you a flower. Love the rednecks. And let me love both of you. Both of you have brought about the human being I am. Yin. Yang. We need both. Always will. The people with the way of life you can't stomach? You *need them.* If you don't believe me... well, don't kill them. My generation is looking at losing half of what we need to understand the Question to Life, the Universe and Everything, and the Answer is going to be a lot more than 42 dead bodies. Already done that number times a thousand and then maybe add a zero or two *more* just to the Arabs. World War is on the horizon. And... I want to tell you about Love. In Love, let me call her Love. More friendly, maybe. I was trying to tell you about the Cosmic force of Light. Let me continue.)
Okay! So!
Crowley--> New Age Caballah ---> Wicca (don't even go there, fellow Wiccans-- Gardner did the 30's equivalent of Copy & Paste from Crowley--- and if you don't believe me, explain how to cast Circle to any Cabalist and ask him if he does anything similar. If he/she tells you about a "Watchtower Ritual" or "The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram" I think you will get my point. Your understanding of the Godhead likewise came from a Fraudulent Jew, my fellow Pagan. Just. Deal. It's reality.) ---> Modern New Age Religions (let's. not. start. Wicca/Caballah Faithfuls.)
We have a bunch of specific rites, rules, all that... I've covered this. Crowley created a "religion." That is maybe a better way of wording it, for the sake of clarity.
What *Mystics* do is shred all of that.
Back to that image of God. The black animal-head guy. We're not offended by it, it just has nothing to do with Spirituality.
Everything you just read (my sides aside) was an explanation of the difference between God on paper (Religion) and God in Fact (Mysticism.)
Only truly arrogant people tell you what mysticism is. But only firecrackers study magick. And I've spent most of my life doing that already, so I'm only going to flinch a little now.
I. cannot. show you. what mysticism/God/love/cosmic force X is! No one can.
But we try anyway, and as I read a long time ago in a book by Ted Andrews, we do and we inevitably fail.
Sometimes it's too exciting... when you see Niagara Falls, you are darn well going to tell people about it! And I have found God. So I am trying to explain something to you that is far more complicated than explaining what Niagara is like to someone who's never been behind the Falls, over them, or even seen a picture.
Ultimately, I hope you are exposed to enough that you find God... within you someday.
Call me a heretic. I still don't know what God is myself.
I feel Him. I know he is Light. I know His Salvation. I know His Clear Sight.
What is He?
OH GOD HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU JUST READ A RANDOM MYSTIC ON THE INTERNET FOR MAYBE 8, MAYBE MORE STRAIGHT PAGES OF NOT BEING SURE IF THE MADWOMAN KNEW WHAT SHE WAS TRYING TO SAY HERSELF AND YOU WERE DUMB ENOUGH TO THINK I MEANT I COULD ACTUALLY TELL YOU!!!!
HAHAHAHA FUNNY, THAT!!
Love your neighbor. I don't know any logical explanation for what God is. I'm not sure if I've managed to explain in these pages in these last two posts what I mean by Mysticism and where we diverge in understanding of God and Faith. (There is no art in mysticism. Not with oils or pastels or colored pencils. Or there is, but, not objectively of what we're talking about. What you read just now was my attempt to convey it in English.)
But, I do know. It took me 30 years to come to God. To understand see that I *AM* my neighbor. I do not yet understand myself as God. I have come to understand "As within, so without" just fine.... after all, from your country to mine, from your household to mine, from your Ideology to mine-- hey, Me!! And if you know I'm right, I'm really glad! There is hope for our Planet!
But... "As above, so below?" Working on it. Definitely. Maybe when I'm 60? Yeesh, that's a long time from now. But there are no sure, no easy, and no fast paths for a mystic. Some say there aren't for occultists. In comparison, speaking as one who has walked both... in comparison, there certainly are. While there *aren't* in occultism either... studying hard and practicing are a heck of a lot more straightforward. In Mysticism, you cannot truly teach yourself. You can only make yourself able to hear God's voice (traditional way of wording it, certainly-- did I mention that mysticism is really, really hard to explain concretely?) when he starts teaching you.
As a Witch, I often spoke with God, and many another in my youth. Perhaps it was Madness? The Devil? Truly what I thought? I do not know... but I will tell you, if you are walking the Path to Power... *Turn back.*
As one who sought it, I will tell you openly I was nearly killed by it. Again, I'm saying what I mean. I don't know if I've had to make that statement yet here, but I often feel the need to-- particularly about the fact I could have very well been dead by now.
It is a long story, maybe for another time.
There was one like me. I have no counterpart in Faith. Wicca? Not really. Light, Dark. This stuff about 30,000 Forces to the Universe-- sure, I get it. I do. And I'm not downsizing that model. But me? It was all Light and Dark by the end of the day.
I was a victim of Socialists who took away my liberty and confined me. I was highly intelligent-- easily the 98th percentile while still in Grammar, as test scores indicated. I was a very great Linguist, I wrote and spoke above my age and most any of my teachers from Grammar on. I took an early interest in the Occult, which I continued to study and depend on for the rest of my life. They called me Mad and I hated them fiercely. I told them I would be Great someday and they called me delusional and blew me off.
That narrative of my life I do believe would also fit *Hitler.*
Why am I not Hitler?
I am with God. God is Love.
The Path to Darkness is always an option. In the Occult, we call it the Left Hand Path. The Most Feared Man in History walked it freely. As is true of most any passing credible Occultist, we have no clue what he actually did in the Occult. The Occult is the "hidden." Study it, use it, heal the sick or make people sick, whatever you want with it, but if it does not stay hidden, you will not effect a damn thing by it. You will be one of those myriad hippie Wiccans who openly tells people you "can't" know if magick is real or not. Then why do you pratice it?
Could you feel the Air around you darken, electrify? The Sunshiney jubilance disappear? That was the mystical part of life, that I cannot explain very well. That was my best. You were reading and watching the "Dark Side" start to take hold of me again.
Some things are best left alone, Pupil. I wonder, writing this, if I would not be wiser, perhaps utterly so, to become someone's *student.* It is something I have avoided steadfastly most all of my life... and strangely, I must confess that humility had the peculiar and untoward effect of causing me not to value my own life. Now, as I write this... the storm brews again within me... and I wonder if I am in error...
I love the Jedi "religion" of many Keksitanis. "Be mindful of your thoughts." The fictional Jedi taught religion and really spirituality far better than any religious teacher I have ever read. George Lucas, I have been arrogant and foolish, and a bad student. I pray someday I become half the Jedi you are.
Darkness ripples.
Uhm....
I'm going to post this. I want you to learn a hard lesson about Reality.
And if you read this far, if the rest of it washes out of your head, I can deal.
But I plead with you, remeber the rest of what is written here. If you quote me and excerpt the above, I do not reason you have done me any injury.
I have tried-- not very successfully-- to explain God... and admitted that no one can do so. I am a mystic... a sinner... and.... *big breath* I am an Occultist who has dabbled in the Left Hand Path.
I have been giving flowers out on Facebook to everyone. I am a flowerchild.
I have argued civil rights-- whatever you make of Social Justice Warriors, of our emerging Communist leadership--- our grandparents' in age were the reason African Americans and women can vote.
They were also the reason the country nearly entered Civil War in the aftermath.
The reason it might now, as I write these words.
The reason for Abolition. For the end of **Slavery!**
For protection for women! For why you or your daughter or friend or sister has an *abuse shelter* she can go to, and a social worker, if someone she dates starts *beating and raping her.*
For men's terror of a made-up bad reputation, for being a victim of rape blamed for commiting rape, and for emerging solutions to that problem. (Our crowd is accepting of men. I would know. It's conservatives who call me a man and who don't get abuse by a female. Don't blame us.)
In turn, we are the reason there might not be any groceries on the shelf if you don't go on the right day of the week.
Why some of you already aren't getting paid what you earn. Why you have to apologize for paying my rent and medical care and food-- and makeup/video games/ whatever I can squeeze out of very little.
Why we might be shooting at each other.
Oh get off your high horse! We're already on the dawn of World War 3 because of you guys! (Conservatives, that is.)
I'm not just talking about blame. I mentioned earlier that the *only* reason I have a working computer right now, and therefore don't need to be in a hospice (picture staring at a wall all day while mute for 5 months. Do you *really* think you could pull it off if you didn't have Internet??)
...is because of my mother and brother. I love my mom. She did a whole lot of downsizing, and next to my dad no one I knew in Life said the words "You can't" and/or "You won't" as much as she did. But... God! Everything I *did* accept learning about manners, about humility, about self-responsiblity, Values, how to get along with people, social skills... My mother was a damn good mother, primarily because my brothers are both working adults who are respectful to their neighbors, and I may be a Disabled SJW... *But..* to hell with it, at *least* I am currently a flower child!!
Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I have not forgiven my own mother. She was a good woman who made mistakes, and I hold her accountable for things I did worst than. My mother never wrote the Nazi Party telling them they were right to come for the Socialists, my mother never helped instigate a Civil War, and my mother has loved me and said nice things about my back and to this day I am spitting at her on social media. I am a sinner, and a braggart, forgive me Jesus Christ and send me your Holy Begotten Son. Let there be Light in my heart, Father, I know now that I want to give the Light to my neighbor, and not hide it for myself. I am most afraid, I confess oh Heavenly Father, of myself. I know I have the Capacity to work Great Good, or Great Evil, Father, and I am going to ask you to be with me here today, and to show me the way. Amen.
I'm going to try to actually answer my own question this time.
With the story of the day I accepted God into my life.
This is just from Facebook. It didn't enter as a response to the guy who told me I sounded Christian... because Social Media is geared toward ADHD (which is *funny,* because I actually *have ADHD*.... so maybe I shouldn't say that.... some SJW I used to steal memes from would tell me I shouldn't blame neurotypical problems on neurodiversity just because we're victims of blame... I love that word, vicitms. We're all victims, and we're all aggressors. If we live long enough. But don't ge tme started.)
Anyway. (Did I mention I have ADHD?)
Too long to put on FB... and I drifted off, distracted.... I'm no longer sure where the thread was.
But, if I do find it, I'm going to give him a link to this post.
Love and light.
In brief: sort of. I am "with God." I accept Jesus. I know the Light is Salvation, and the Dark is Damnation. I am a Mystic. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. If you walk with God, it doesn't make a difference to me if you call him Allah, or Yahweh, or Odin, or Zeus... God is Love, children. God/Love is a Cosmic Force without equal.
People have passed around stories that were objectively False about God-- we do not have any idea about how that happened-- well, maybe *you do*, just because I don't... there's probably a person out there who could give a very sound theory... I am not she....
... but, for millennia-- and is She just chemicals in our brain? Well I don't think so but if you're an *atheist,* like I said, I fully believe you can know God!! What is a "cosmic force?" Mysticism is full of questions... we mystics are apt to answer questions and unload more questions than we can answer just while trying to explain the answer to a very basic one... I wouldn't trust the mystic who did differently very easily... not without a good reason....
-- well, for millennia, it was a way of explaining something that was too hard to convey in straightforward explanation. And I will tell you here today, on my blog, that I do the exact same thing, and am about to do so to you right here right now before you start equating "Love" the Cosmic Force with stuff any good Feminist would tell you is just you wanting to own someone like they're a dog or a necklace.
Uhmm... I cannot tell you what God is. Not really. How can anyone explain Love in words?
I am going to tell you the difference between Traditionalist Explanations of God and what we Mystics believe in figuring out while you seek God.
Up front, you will not find God by reading about Him. Or Her. He is not a thing of Logic. But... reading whereabout the Interstate is, and how to get down it, will help you get to New York one day... and if you're leaving my hometown, knowing the Interstate is called Palmetto and knowing how to find Palmetto is a very good place to start.
(If you needed it directly spelled out, there is nothing wrong with calling God something that is familiar to you and not reading the same words as the guy who comes from a different background. If you are a Juan and proud to be a Juan, or you are a proud Jack, or a proud Mohammed, or an Avani or a Lu, when starting out-- I did say I was a former SJW-- you can walk whatever road to find God you want, and there is nothing wrong with you regardless. If you want to call him by your country's/People's/culture's name, do. If you don't, don't. I'm an American Patriot who says firmly the only thing my Patriotism supports is Freedom-- that's literally it-- all it ever should have-- and you should absolutely do what you feel comfortable with. If someone doesn't like your name for God, it doesn't matter if they look like you or if they don't, it doesn't matter if they want you to be like other people who look like you or they think you shouldn't be-- you do right by God, and call out to Him in a way that works for you. Love, God, never wants anyone to cause themselves or anyone else pain and suffering without a very good reason. And S/he doesn't want you to.)
Now that that's clear...
Traditional Religion-- as a lifelong Witch (I still Practice... I would be far more a victim than I am if I were not a Witch... am I in error? I am not sure, let me be humble, feel free to open the dialogue... the Path of Spiritual Power, or the Occult, as it is more commonly called.... even most every teacher I learned from, through their writings, advised all of us their students to understand has highly dangerous-- to take it seriously as Fire itself....)
Well, as a Witch, Traditional Religion means Ritual. Herbs. Drawn Figures in Specific Colors. Certain Numbers. Celestial Symbols. Specific Times of Day.
All of that, if you study the Path I studied, is mostly stuff passed on to us from a crackpot fraud who also said he created gold but lost the evidence somehow named Aleister Crowley, whose Cult, the Golden Dawn, *found* a whole ton of written magical lore for which there is no accounting from all of recorded history.
I am not discounting Crowley's methods, as startling as that may seem.
Huh? What did that crazy bipolar SJW just say?
No. I assure you you read that right. And while it may be hard to understand, I am quite sane. Though people have mistaken us mystics for madmen for pretty much all of history. Here, forget that last bit-- and don't hate the Catholics! It's in gist innaccurate; the Greek Pagans and everyone else killed us Witches too, always have, maybe always will-- the atheists *still* sometimes give us labtomies (did I say we're all imperfect people yet? So much better than the Catholics, right?)....
Just forget everything you know about everything and walk with me a minute.
What I just told you-- earlier-- from Crowley-- he wasn't doing anything a whole bunch of other people did all throughout history. He just did the same thing when there was a *really good* written record for the very first time anyone had done anything of the kind.
Do people *make up* God? Did Crowley? Well... yes and no.
Here, let me explain. Going back to Traditionalism. This is all an explanation of how you find God, and what that means in Traditional Religion versus Mysticism, and why people like Crowley... well, from a neurotypical, mainstream viewpoint, they pretty much just make it all up. *But, on my honor, on all I have seen, that is a LIE!*
It's about fine lines. The Devil and God are in the details-- and if you don't believe me, go back to Facebook where you probably came from, and a lot of those memes are actually accurate, a lot of those news stories are actually factually true. And if you just read the Progressive Side or the Kekistani side, white people are a threat to all society, or minorities are a threat to all society.... eh, I like to think you know where that road leads. You, my fellow Seeker, want the *red pill.*
So! The Red Pill: You kind of have to see the Matrix with your own eyes. Let me reword that. Matrix equals Reality. No one can show you the Matrix. No one can show you Reality. No one can show you God, and no one can tell you what it is. You have to see it for yourself.
(I will admit, there are about a ton of SJWs on the Net who *don't* believe in religion who just got mad because I said the Real World includes a "Giant Spaghetti Monster.")
(Uhm... not to do this to you so often but.... *sort of.* Again, I have no concrete explanation of God. I have already called Him Love, and said "Cosmic Force." Uhmm.. hehe... mysticism is a study of things that cannot be explained in words... but, hopefully I can motivate you to find a better explanation than what I give here.)
Crowley! Back again to Crowley! He was teaching Traditional Religion!
*FACEPALM*
"What did that crazy bipolar SJW just say?"
No, again, this is difficult, but... you read that correctly.
Still walking with me?
Writers are fond of redefining terms, I know. Maybe I'm guilty of that. "Traditional Religion" is the wrong term by *denotation,* you're absolutely right. *But*... I'm not finished....
What Crowley did was create a new Traditional Religion.
"Rigggghhhht..... 'Tra-dit-ion-al...."
Well, no. Not if you make fun of me. But kind of. It is a sort of traditionalist reaction I am imagining some of my readers having.
Sigh....
Tradition is rote. It is obligatory. There is a way of doing things, a standard explanation. You say the same words every time, there is an Authority who explained those words and you can repeat that explanation without flinching because you know the person you're talking to just doesn't understand (insert blank.)
I. Hate. Traditionalism.
But it's useful.
Crowley started that up.
Basically, Crowley, and *all Traditionalists,* give you this version of God:
Hmm.. God has a very large face. He is tall. Taller than Mountains. He is stronger than any mortal can imagine. He floats on Air and can teleport anywhere at once.
So they even give him long.... black... my SJW self wants to avoid racial misunderstandings... hair.... black... skin.... don't miss the point, you can say blond and white in your head, it doesn't make the slightest difference.... annd... a piece of artwork later....
THIS. IS. GODDDD!! FALL DOWN ON YOUR KEES AND PRAY!!
Uhmmm... yes.
That, in a nutshell, is how Traditionals explained God much of the way through history.
They're a little more advanced now.... not really. They still literally argue that the Earth is only 6,000 years old and the CIA planted Dinosaur bones. But, more importantly, they are serious as hell about God, Love and doing right by Christ is their primary objective in Life, and they turn the other cheek and show Love like mad to people they are sure are going to Hell-- did I sound like I thought I was better than Traditionalism? Oh, no. Don't mean to. Same people have been royally good to me in life. Royally. Not as bright or educated maybe as most SJWs... but. If. There is. Civil War. I told you beforehand. It was not. Because of Them. End rant.
Love thy neighbor.
Well... you get the picture. That was what Crowley did.
Whhhhaaaaawwt did Crazy Bipolar Mystic Lady Say? Is you off your meds, woman??
(Yes, but that's beside the point.)
*Keep walking.*
Crowley didn't make an animal head and say that was the Great Pharaoh in the Sky.
Not in direct interpretation, anyway.
But if you're having trouble getting my point- bear with me- he pretty much did.
<Skeptic rolls eyes.>
<Actually, most skeptics are pretty intelligent, make love not war. I have a friend who's a skeptic who just made read this-- I've known her longer than I can remember my own life-- and I'm pretty sure she gets everything that's written here just fine and is trying to decide if it's really worth it to get in another religious quarrel about how full of crap all us religious people are because, after all, most warfare started because of religion. The *Modern Crusades*- yes, I see people on the Net regularly, and I have known them in person in the past in healthier days when I wasn't all but homebound-- and, Evidence is in your favor, a ton of people see Christ and/or Europe as finishing out the Human Side of the Warcraft II Campaign. Gosh, Folks. Generation Z is *really* going to say good things about us... AND Baby Boomers...>
Well, anyway. To be fair, my antics were probably not fair to Skeptics. Might be more like Traditionalists who are rolling their eyes and shaking their heads.
Some atheists too.
Uhmm... yes, where was I?
If you're still following me, good job. If you've gotten what I'm trying to convey, GREAT.
(You really read blogs by bipolar people who don't medicate for entertainment and candid honesty. And to save money. Those books and those courses could probably teach you... Traditionalism.)
(One of the problems with talking to us mystics is... since time Immemorial, "tradition" had it-- I did just say that-- that we went through Madness as part of our Initiation. Modern Society, a very thin slice of history, calls that mental illness. But if we never went Mad.... it's like, if I can invert the whole equation. If your own parents had never domesticated you as a human being, would you understand Math? No? I don't think so either. Do you still feel love? Hope? Are you still free of heart? Yes? I agree too. Going through Madness in Seeking God is normal. It is part of the Mystic Experience, and if you never go Mad, I don't think you will ever understand the "Hidden." You will also are presently missing out on how Mad all Society has gone in their quest for Rational, Logical Evidence.)
(This is supposed to be a Blog about not hating your neighbor, not cheating your friend. I did right not to pretend my only atheist friend who might actually read this, hallowed Internet Idol Status aside, would get my point before I finished making it-- only, I am not *sure*-- because I would be cheating atheists otherwise. And I would be cheating Christians and believers if I did not say they can all be intelligent. I just don't want to hate on my neighbors when every background, really, sometimes gets things, sometimes doesn't. Is sometimes intelligent, fair, compassionate, what-have-you, sometimes isn't.
(So anyway, I want to supplant one quick point-- did I say quick? I was forced on Psych pills originally partly just for having too much to say. If you try to say a paragraph over two minutes in a response to a question, people call you mentally ill, currently, or "manic," and, not everything's rosy in lil old traditional Florence-- in New York City, I think I might have actually gotten a chance to call witnesses or at least give my side of the story to the judge. People from the South who hate people from the Northeast are nuts. But people from the Northeast who move down here and salute themselves for civilizing us and educating us about modern tolerance are INSANE. You're literally destroying the Seasons of the Year just by moving here even as I write this. I do not reason there are anywhere near *half* the trees there were in this state before you guys moved here after I was born. I have gone down the highway by car from Myrtle Beach to Greenville, Columbia, Charleston, North Carolina-- used to be, anywhere on that list, the whole way en route, nothing but trees. Now? Heck... I hardly see any! It's like there's *at least* a town nearby, anywhere you go. You guys need to love to learn rednecks. We're all going to be starving 20 years from now just because the Factory Life moved South. But by all means, hate your transphobic, racist, homophobic, Islamaphobic, Bible-thumping yokel neighbors. Blow them off. When Generation Z is excited they had the money to buy a peach? Tell them you're the reason they couldn't just *grow a tree in their backyard.* And then remind them about all the awful people who used to be able to. ... Love, Shelley. Love. No anger. My problem in life is that I did not smell enough Flowers. Do you like Flowers? I like Flowers. I owe you a flower. Tell me if I offended you, Shelley Claire Havens on Facebook, and let me send you a flower. Love the rednecks. And let me love both of you. Both of you have brought about the human being I am. Yin. Yang. We need both. Always will. The people with the way of life you can't stomach? You *need them.* If you don't believe me... well, don't kill them. My generation is looking at losing half of what we need to understand the Question to Life, the Universe and Everything, and the Answer is going to be a lot more than 42 dead bodies. Already done that number times a thousand and then maybe add a zero or two *more* just to the Arabs. World War is on the horizon. And... I want to tell you about Love. In Love, let me call her Love. More friendly, maybe. I was trying to tell you about the Cosmic force of Light. Let me continue.)
Okay! So!
Crowley--> New Age Caballah ---> Wicca (don't even go there, fellow Wiccans-- Gardner did the 30's equivalent of Copy & Paste from Crowley--- and if you don't believe me, explain how to cast Circle to any Cabalist and ask him if he does anything similar. If he/she tells you about a "Watchtower Ritual" or "The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram" I think you will get my point. Your understanding of the Godhead likewise came from a Fraudulent Jew, my fellow Pagan. Just. Deal. It's reality.) ---> Modern New Age Religions (let's. not. start. Wicca/Caballah Faithfuls.)
We have a bunch of specific rites, rules, all that... I've covered this. Crowley created a "religion." That is maybe a better way of wording it, for the sake of clarity.
What *Mystics* do is shred all of that.
Back to that image of God. The black animal-head guy. We're not offended by it, it just has nothing to do with Spirituality.
Everything you just read (my sides aside) was an explanation of the difference between God on paper (Religion) and God in Fact (Mysticism.)
Only truly arrogant people tell you what mysticism is. But only firecrackers study magick. And I've spent most of my life doing that already, so I'm only going to flinch a little now.
I. cannot. show you. what mysticism/God/love/cosmic force X is! No one can.
But we try anyway, and as I read a long time ago in a book by Ted Andrews, we do and we inevitably fail.
Sometimes it's too exciting... when you see Niagara Falls, you are darn well going to tell people about it! And I have found God. So I am trying to explain something to you that is far more complicated than explaining what Niagara is like to someone who's never been behind the Falls, over them, or even seen a picture.
Ultimately, I hope you are exposed to enough that you find God... within you someday.
Call me a heretic. I still don't know what God is myself.
I feel Him. I know he is Light. I know His Salvation. I know His Clear Sight.
What is He?
OH GOD HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU JUST READ A RANDOM MYSTIC ON THE INTERNET FOR MAYBE 8, MAYBE MORE STRAIGHT PAGES OF NOT BEING SURE IF THE MADWOMAN KNEW WHAT SHE WAS TRYING TO SAY HERSELF AND YOU WERE DUMB ENOUGH TO THINK I MEANT I COULD ACTUALLY TELL YOU!!!!
HAHAHAHA FUNNY, THAT!!
Love your neighbor. I don't know any logical explanation for what God is. I'm not sure if I've managed to explain in these pages in these last two posts what I mean by Mysticism and where we diverge in understanding of God and Faith. (There is no art in mysticism. Not with oils or pastels or colored pencils. Or there is, but, not objectively of what we're talking about. What you read just now was my attempt to convey it in English.)
But, I do know. It took me 30 years to come to God. To understand see that I *AM* my neighbor. I do not yet understand myself as God. I have come to understand "As within, so without" just fine.... after all, from your country to mine, from your household to mine, from your Ideology to mine-- hey, Me!! And if you know I'm right, I'm really glad! There is hope for our Planet!
But... "As above, so below?" Working on it. Definitely. Maybe when I'm 60? Yeesh, that's a long time from now. But there are no sure, no easy, and no fast paths for a mystic. Some say there aren't for occultists. In comparison, speaking as one who has walked both... in comparison, there certainly are. While there *aren't* in occultism either... studying hard and practicing are a heck of a lot more straightforward. In Mysticism, you cannot truly teach yourself. You can only make yourself able to hear God's voice (traditional way of wording it, certainly-- did I mention that mysticism is really, really hard to explain concretely?) when he starts teaching you.
As a Witch, I often spoke with God, and many another in my youth. Perhaps it was Madness? The Devil? Truly what I thought? I do not know... but I will tell you, if you are walking the Path to Power... *Turn back.*
As one who sought it, I will tell you openly I was nearly killed by it. Again, I'm saying what I mean. I don't know if I've had to make that statement yet here, but I often feel the need to-- particularly about the fact I could have very well been dead by now.
It is a long story, maybe for another time.
There was one like me. I have no counterpart in Faith. Wicca? Not really. Light, Dark. This stuff about 30,000 Forces to the Universe-- sure, I get it. I do. And I'm not downsizing that model. But me? It was all Light and Dark by the end of the day.
I was a victim of Socialists who took away my liberty and confined me. I was highly intelligent-- easily the 98th percentile while still in Grammar, as test scores indicated. I was a very great Linguist, I wrote and spoke above my age and most any of my teachers from Grammar on. I took an early interest in the Occult, which I continued to study and depend on for the rest of my life. They called me Mad and I hated them fiercely. I told them I would be Great someday and they called me delusional and blew me off.
That narrative of my life I do believe would also fit *Hitler.*
Why am I not Hitler?
I am with God. God is Love.
The Path to Darkness is always an option. In the Occult, we call it the Left Hand Path. The Most Feared Man in History walked it freely. As is true of most any passing credible Occultist, we have no clue what he actually did in the Occult. The Occult is the "hidden." Study it, use it, heal the sick or make people sick, whatever you want with it, but if it does not stay hidden, you will not effect a damn thing by it. You will be one of those myriad hippie Wiccans who openly tells people you "can't" know if magick is real or not. Then why do you pratice it?
Could you feel the Air around you darken, electrify? The Sunshiney jubilance disappear? That was the mystical part of life, that I cannot explain very well. That was my best. You were reading and watching the "Dark Side" start to take hold of me again.
Some things are best left alone, Pupil. I wonder, writing this, if I would not be wiser, perhaps utterly so, to become someone's *student.* It is something I have avoided steadfastly most all of my life... and strangely, I must confess that humility had the peculiar and untoward effect of causing me not to value my own life. Now, as I write this... the storm brews again within me... and I wonder if I am in error...
I love the Jedi "religion" of many Keksitanis. "Be mindful of your thoughts." The fictional Jedi taught religion and really spirituality far better than any religious teacher I have ever read. George Lucas, I have been arrogant and foolish, and a bad student. I pray someday I become half the Jedi you are.
Darkness ripples.
Uhm....
I'm going to post this. I want you to learn a hard lesson about Reality.
And if you read this far, if the rest of it washes out of your head, I can deal.
But I plead with you, remeber the rest of what is written here. If you quote me and excerpt the above, I do not reason you have done me any injury.
I have tried-- not very successfully-- to explain God... and admitted that no one can do so. I am a mystic... a sinner... and.... *big breath* I am an Occultist who has dabbled in the Left Hand Path.
I have been giving flowers out on Facebook to everyone. I am a flowerchild.
I have argued civil rights-- whatever you make of Social Justice Warriors, of our emerging Communist leadership--- our grandparents' in age were the reason African Americans and women can vote.
They were also the reason the country nearly entered Civil War in the aftermath.
The reason it might now, as I write these words.
The reason for Abolition. For the end of **Slavery!**
For protection for women! For why you or your daughter or friend or sister has an *abuse shelter* she can go to, and a social worker, if someone she dates starts *beating and raping her.*
For men's terror of a made-up bad reputation, for being a victim of rape blamed for commiting rape, and for emerging solutions to that problem. (Our crowd is accepting of men. I would know. It's conservatives who call me a man and who don't get abuse by a female. Don't blame us.)
In turn, we are the reason there might not be any groceries on the shelf if you don't go on the right day of the week.
Why some of you already aren't getting paid what you earn. Why you have to apologize for paying my rent and medical care and food-- and makeup/video games/ whatever I can squeeze out of very little.
Why we might be shooting at each other.
Oh get off your high horse! We're already on the dawn of World War 3 because of you guys! (Conservatives, that is.)
I'm not just talking about blame. I mentioned earlier that the *only* reason I have a working computer right now, and therefore don't need to be in a hospice (picture staring at a wall all day while mute for 5 months. Do you *really* think you could pull it off if you didn't have Internet??)
...is because of my mother and brother. I love my mom. She did a whole lot of downsizing, and next to my dad no one I knew in Life said the words "You can't" and/or "You won't" as much as she did. But... God! Everything I *did* accept learning about manners, about humility, about self-responsiblity, Values, how to get along with people, social skills... My mother was a damn good mother, primarily because my brothers are both working adults who are respectful to their neighbors, and I may be a Disabled SJW... *But..* to hell with it, at *least* I am currently a flower child!!
Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I have not forgiven my own mother. She was a good woman who made mistakes, and I hold her accountable for things I did worst than. My mother never wrote the Nazi Party telling them they were right to come for the Socialists, my mother never helped instigate a Civil War, and my mother has loved me and said nice things about my back and to this day I am spitting at her on social media. I am a sinner, and a braggart, forgive me Jesus Christ and send me your Holy Begotten Son. Let there be Light in my heart, Father, I know now that I want to give the Light to my neighbor, and not hide it for myself. I am most afraid, I confess oh Heavenly Father, of myself. I know I have the Capacity to work Great Good, or Great Evil, Father, and I am going to ask you to be with me here today, and to show me the way. Amen.
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